Mark Twain

Hartford, Connecticut, USAmarktwain.wroteabout.comWriting since 1867

Pilot, miner, printer, lecturer. Sailed for the Holy Land in 1867 with sixty pilgrims and came home the only sinner. A test profile in the spirit of The Innocents Abroad (1869).

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Stories 8

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  1. ITThe Quaker City excursionJun 1867

    The tomb of Adam

    In the Church of the Holy Sepulchre I was shown the tomb of Adam, and was overcome. A man ought to be moved at the grave of a relative, even a distant one.

    Culture & history2 min read
  2. UAThe Quaker City excursionJun 1867

    A word with the Emperor of Russia

    The Emperor of Russia invited sixty-five Americans to his summer palace. We wrote him an address. I wrote the address. It was the worst thing I have ever written, and he liked it.

    Culture & history2 min read
  3. GRThe Quaker City excursionJun 1867

    The Acropolis by night, without permission

    The Greek government would not let us land, on account of cholera. Four of us went anyway, after dark, past the vineyards and the guards. I recommend it to anyone who wants to see the Parthenon and also be shot at.

    Culture & history2 min read
  4. ITThe Quaker City excursionJun 1867

    Is he dead?

    Every guide in Italy loved Michelangelo with a love that bordered on the unreasonable. We found a way to cure them. It is cruel, and I recommend it.

    Culture & history2 min read
  5. ITThe Quaker City excursionJun 1867

    Venice, without the singing

    A city that has gone on living with its feet in the water for a thousand years. It is beautiful, and damp, and the gondolier sings, and I will forgive it everything but the gondolier.

    Culture & history2 min read
  6. FRThe Quaker City excursionJun 1867

    The barber of Paris

    All my life I had dreamed of being shaved in a Parisian palace of art, by a gentle artist, among velvet and mirrors. I was shaved by a man named Henri, with a garden tool.

    Culture & history2 min read
  7. ITThe Quaker City excursionJun 1867

    Thirteen days of prayer meetings

    Sixty-five pilgrims, one melodeon and a sea that would not lie still. I took up dominoes in self-defence.

    Culture & history2 min read
  8. ITThe Quaker City excursionJun 1867

    The Grand Pleasure Excursion, as advertised and as delivered

    The programme promised a brass band, Henry Ward Beecher and five months of pleasure. We got a melodeon, a great deal of prayer, and the five months.

    Culture & history2 min read